| Issue | #91 |
| Published | August 1965 |
| Cover Price | 0.12 USD |
| Pages | 36 |
| Editing | ? |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper; Miss Geraldine Grundy; Jughead Jones; Veronica Lodge |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Midge Klump; Veronica Lodge; Reggie Mantle; Moose Mason; three un-named guys |
| Synopsis | Moose dives into the pool, then asks Midge what she thought of his big splash. Midge says it wasn't bad, but Veronica made an even bigger splash without getting in the water. When Moose asks Midge how Veronica did this, Midge says "With her new bathing suit", and points to Veronica, who is wearing a bikini and is surrounded by Archie, Reggie and three other guys. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Mary Andrews |
| Synopsis | Archie's mom asks him to help her paste her trading stamps into a book. Archie says he's really "stuck" with the job. Archie's mom points out that she just needs seven more books to replace their worn-out toaster, and just five more books to replace their worn-out lamp. Archie asks his mom how many books are needed to replace his worn-out tongue. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; un-named store clerk |
| Synopsis | Betty is in the department store checking out various perfumes. She sniffs one, and asks the clerk if it's any good. The clerk replies that it's so good the customers never come back for more. When Betty asks her why, the clerk replies "They're too busy dating!" |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | This strip occupies the top half of the page. The bottom half is occupied by "Late Date". |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Hiram Lodge; Veronica Lodge |
| Synopsis | Archie shows up at Veronica's door, ready to take her to the dance. Veronica is mad because Archie's late - she had told him that the dance was switched from 8PM to 7PM. Archie says he's sorry and that he forgot. Veronica asks why everything she says to him goes in one ear and out the other. Mr. Lodge, who is in the other room reading a newspaper, replies that there's nothing in between to stop it. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the bottom half of the page. Top half is occupied by "Scintillating Scent" |
| Characters | Jughead Jones; Ethel Muggs |
| Synopsis | Ethel and Jughead are at a dance or party of some sort at Veronica's house. Ethel, dragging Jughead away from the buffet table, asks him to step out onto the balcony. Pointing to a nearby fountain, Ethel asks Jughead what the pretty fountain does for him. Jughead replies that it reminds him of the sparkling soda that Ronnie [Veronica] has inside. Ethel romantically tells Jughead to look at the moon and sighs. Jughead says it looks just like the custard pie he just saw inside. Ethel asks Jughead if being out on the balcony does anything for him. Jughead, running back towards the buffet table and drooling, says that it makes him hungry as heck. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Jughead's comment about the "soda water Ronnie has inside" is the only thing that tells us the party is being held at the Lodge mansion. Veronica is never seen. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Veronica Lodge; un-named guy; un-named guy's girlfriend |
| Synopsis | Archie and Veronica are visiting an art museum. While looking at one painting, Archie and another guy who is also there with his girlfriend both pretend to know a lot about art by mentioning what they like about the painting (its "linear harmony and spatial relationship", etc.). Later, Veronica returns, and sees Archie laughing. When she asks him what he's laughing about, he says he doesn't know the first thing about modern art. In the last panel, we see both Archie and the other guy standing around the corner from one another, each pointing and telling their girlfriend "Boy! Did I fool the nut I was talking to!" [emphasis on second "I"] |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Characters | Veronica Lodge; Cynthia |
| Synopsis | Veronica and Cynthia are walking home from school, talking. Cynthia tells Veronica that Harold invited her to a baseball game and she doesn't know the first thing about it. Veronica tells Cynthia that she came to the right person and that she'll tell Cynthia everything she needs to know about the game. Veronica then tells Cynthia the following "rules": Rule number 1 - When YOUR date shouts, YOU shout; Rule number 2 - When HE looks sad, YOU look sad; Rule number 3 - Never tell him that another player is handsome, no matter HOW handsome the player is; Rule number 4 - Take home your scorecard as a "TREASURED MOMENTO". Cynthia says that she's glad she asked a real baseball expert. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Spelling note: The correct spelling of "momento" is "memento". However, according to Dictionary.com, the mis-spelled version "occurs so frequently in edited writing that some regard it as a variant spelling rather than an error." (see http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/memento). Therefore, this is most likely not an editorial oversight. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper; Jughead Jones; Midge Klump; Veronica Lodge; Moose Mason; un-named girl |
| Synopsis | In the first panel, Moose and Reggie are seen sitting on the couch with Archie nearby. The girls are off talking with one another. Reggie asks how they're supposed to plan the spring dance when the girls won't give them their attention. Archie says that he'll get their attention, and whispers to Reggie "I don't think that's any of the girls BUSINESS!". This of course gets the girls' attention and Veronica asks "What isn't?". |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the top half of the page. The bottom half is occupied by "Beat Treat". |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Mary Andrews |
| Synopsis | Archie is watching baseball on TV, and goes to the kitchen to get a snack in between innings. When he returns, the TV is off, and he asks his mom what happened. She replies that the game was called. When Archie asks if the game was called on account of rain, his mom says no - it was called on account of the rug needs cleaning. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the bottom half of the page. Top half is "Keen Teen". |
| Characters | Alice Cooper; Betty Cooper |
| Synopsis | Betty is in her room, putting on her makeup. Her mom looks in and points out that she's been dolling herself up for several hours. Betty replies that she's going to a very important masquerade. A little while later, while Mrs. Cooper is vacuuming the hallway, Betty says that she's done - emerging dressed as a middle-eastern woman with most of her body covered - including her face. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | They probably wouldn't be able to get away with this gag today. It would be "politically incorrect". |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge |
| Synopsis | Betty and Veronica are at the beach, and notice that they seem to have the beach to themselves. At first they are happy about this - they can get a tan without being disturbed because there are no boys to kick sand in their faces, no boys to mooch their sandwiches and no boys to dunk them in the water. In the last panel, Veronica says that the day is going to be one big drag (no boys). |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Veronica Lodge |
| Synopsis | Archie and Veronica are out for a drive in Archie's old jalopy. Archie tells Veronica that just one of his kisses is guaranteed to put the pep in her. As they continue, Archie's car chugs along up the hill and Veronica says that in that case, Archie had better get out and kiss his jalopy engine. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the top half of the page. Bottom half is "Hitter Titter". |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Mary Andrews |
| Synopsis | Archie, returning from baseball tryouts, excitedly tells his mom that he is the cleanup man on his team. Pointing to Archie's messy room, his mom tells him that he can start practicing in his room. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the bottom half of the page. Top half is "Kiss Kaper". |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Fred Andrews |
| Synopsis | Archie asks his dad for $2 because he has a hot date that night. His dad asks him what happened to his allowance, saying that it was supposed to stretch all week. Archie says he knows - but it snapped on Thursday. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the top half of the page. Bottom half is "Boy Joy". |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Ethel Muggs |
| Synopsis | Betty is going to try to get Ethel a blind date and asks Ethel if she wants any particular kind of boy. At first Ethel says that any boy will do, but quickly changes her mind - the boy has got to be breathing. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the bottom half of the page. Top half is "Doe Woe". |
| Characters | Midge Klump; Moose Mason |
| Synopsis | Moose and Midge are sitting in a restaurant and Moose comments that he likes romantic songs (referring to a song playing on the jukebox). Midge asks since when "Hold That Tiger" was a romantic song. Moose says it is a romantic song - to another tiger. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | The song that Midge is referring to is probably "Hold That Tiger (Tiger Rag)" by Claude King. This song was the flip-side of "Catch A Little Raindrop", so it could very well have been played in jukeboxes. It is not known when the single was released, but singles were often released well in advance of the album, and the album containing this song was released in December 1965 - only a few months after the comic. This strip occupies the top half of the page. Bottom half is "Certain Suspect". |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Veronica Lodge |
| Synopsis | Archie is standing outside a restaurant. As Veronica walks up, he says hi to her. She yells at him and calls him a girl-chasing wolf. Archie, not understanding what's going on, says that he's just standing there. Veronica says that's the trouble - and points to a "Girl Wanted" sign in the restaurant window. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the bottom half of the page. Top half occupied by "Loony Tune". |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper; Jughead Jones; Hiram Lodge; Veronica Lodge; Reggie Mantle |
| Synopsis | Betty and Veronica are commenting on how much they like the new stretch fabrics and stretch swimsuits. Jughead says that the boys started the stretch fad long before the girls did. Reggie says that Jughead invented the 7th Inning Stretch in baseball. Archie says that when Reggie tells a story that he's stretching the truth. Mr. Lodge says he hopes the stretch manufacturers don't forget fathers. When Veronica asks why, Mr. Lodge says that they'll need stretch wallets to afford all those stretch clothes. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | The writers of this strip should get bonus points for cramming three gags into 5 panels... |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper; Miss Geraldine Grundy; Jughead Jones; Reggie Mantle; Moose Mason |
| Synopsis | Miss Grundy asks Moose why he always looks so sleepy in class. Moose says that he finds school dull. Miss Grundy says that this is a coincidence - that's the same way school finds Moose. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the top half of the page. Bottom half is "Tragic Truth". |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Moose Mason |
| Synopsis | Moose complains to Archie that it isn't fair. Archie asks what isn't fair. Moose says he got a 0 in class for telling the truth. Archie asks why, and Moose said that Miss Grundy asked him a history question and he told her that he didn't know the answer. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the bottom half of the page. Top half is "Dull Skull" |
| Characters | Archie Andrews |
| Synopsis | An ad for Life With Archie. |
| Notes | Occupies the bottom 1/4 of the page. The rest of the page is occupied by an ad for Trix cereal. |
| Characters | Jughead Jones |
| Synopsis | Jughead is reading a book in the library. There is a "Silence" sign on the table and an "Absolutely no talking in the library" sign on the wall. Suddenly, Jughead gets a strange look on his face and runs out of the library. As he's running out, he passes a "Quiet" sign on the wall. Once he's outside, he sneezes loudly. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Miss Geraldine Grundy; Mildred |
| Synopsis | Miss Grundy introduces Betty to another student named Mildred. Miss Grundy then quietly tells Betty that she'd like her to tutor Mildred, who isn't doing very well this term. Betty asks Mildred if she's the girl who has Ringo's autograph, and Mildred says she is. Betty asks her how she did it, and Mildred says that she sent him a registered letter, and he signed the receipt, which is always returned to the sender. Betty says this is brilliant thinking. Miss Grundy asks how the two are doing, and Betty says they're doing just fine - she's never learned so much in her life. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | The person referred to in this story is Ringo Starr, who was drummer for The Beatles. The group was extremely popular at the time. |
| Characters | Li'l Jinx; Hap Holliday |
| Synopsis | Li'l Jinx walks into the room and mentions the new wrist watch her dad bought. He mentions that it's a wonderful watch, is self-winding, has an automatic calendar and is even shockproof and waterproof. Li'l Jinx holds out the broken watch and says that it isn't "Li'l Jinx Proof". |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Script | Joe Edwards |
| Pencils | Joe Edwards |
| Inks | Joe Edwards |
| Letters | Joe Edwards |
| Characters | Archie Andrews |
| Synopsis | An ad for Archie's Jokes #33. Besides claiming that this comic is the biggest laugh bargain in comics, the ad also claims that you'll love this book "if you like rib-tickling gags that keep you laughing 'til your sides ache". |
| Notes | Comic was part of the Archie GIANT Series and cost a mere 25 cents at the time. Oddly enough, there is no expiration date on this offer (although Archie Comics is no longer at 241 Church Street in New York City). |
| Characters | Hiram Lodge; Veronica Lodge; un-named yacht salesman |
| Synopsis | Mr. Lodge is looking at a new yacht, and has a few questions for the salesman before he purchases it. He first asks about the boat's directional stability, then about the maintenance and finally about the engines. Veronica tells her dad that he's forgetting the most important question. When her dad asks what this question is, Veronica asks the salesman if he gives trading stamps. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trading_stamps for more information on trading stamps. This comic shows just how much things have changed in 42 years - the salesman says that the yacht has two 280-horsepower engines... |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper; Jughead Jones; Veronica Lodge |
| Synopsis | An ad for Bendix Automatic 2-speed bicycle hubs. |
| Notes | The ad includes a coupon that readers could mail in for more information on the bike hub. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bendix_Corporation for more information on the company. This ad occupies the top half of the page. The bottom half is occupied by an ad for Cocoa Puffs cereal. |
| Characters | None |
| Synopsis | A regular feature that showcased winning reports from Archie Club members. This month features five reports, although the feature would later shrink to two reports. |
| Notes | This month's winning reporters: Katie Simaren from Fort Wayne, Indiana ($5 First Prize for her article on ballet); Billy Georgee from Iron Mountain, Michigan ($4 Second Prize, Disneyland); Mike Hinds of Cleveland, New York ($3 Third Prize, Davy Crockett); Lynne Hendrickson of Wellfleet, Massachusetts ($1 Fourth Prize, echoes) and Adrea R. Gevosdow of Plainview, Long Island, New York ($1 Fifth Prize, Contesse de Delfina [his poodle]). The bottom half of the second page was an offer to join the Archie Club for 15 cents. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge; Pop Tate |
| Synopsis | After seeing an ad for pistachio lipstick, Veronica decides to get some, but Betty thinks this is ridiculous and runs to tell her friends about it. She goes to Pop's to tell Archie, just as Archie is ordering another dish with a double-scoop of his new favorite flavor - Pistachio. Seeing this, Betty runs to buy six tubes of the lipstick. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Midge Klump; Veronica Lodge; Moose Mason |
| Synopsis | Betty brags that she once lost three pounds in a week. Veronica tops her by saying that she once lost five pounds in a week. Midge says that's nothing and that she once lost 200 pounds in one day. When Betty and Veronica ask how she did this, she says "By breaking off with Moose once!" |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Occupies the top half of the page. Bottom half is "Tip Trip". |
| Characters | Hiram Lodge; Veronica Lodge; un-named hotel bellboy; un-named taxi driver |
| Synopsis | Mr. Lodge complains that they'll never visit Glopstokia again because everyone in that country has their hand out for a tip. Veronica says it isn't that bad, and ducks into a phone booth to call Archie long distance. In the last panel as she's going to put the coin in the slot, she notices an extra coin slot marked "Tip". |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | Another sign of how things have changed. Besides the fact that phone booths are not very common anymore, this particular booth had a rotary-dial phone, and slots for both a dime and a quarter. This strip occupies the bottom half of the page. Top half is "Weight State". |
| Characters | First gag: Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper; Mrs. Von Rocks / Second gag: Jughead Jones; un-named doctor / Third gag: Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper |
| Synopsis | A set of three, 2-panel "double-take" gags. In the first gag, Archie and Betty are at a dance (probably at the Lodge's). Betty says that she hears Mrs. Von Rocks has a necklace worth half a million. Archie agrees. In the second panel, Archie adds that he thinks she's wearing them now, as we see a large woman wearing a fancy necklace. Around the woman's waist are two gun holsters each with a gun in them. In the second gag, a doctor is examining Jughead and says he's got terrible news for Jughead. In the next panel, the doctor says "You're better!", as Jughead is seen laying in bed, eating food and watching a western on TV. In the third gag, Archie and Betty are riding along in Archie's jalopy. Betty asks Archie if he's really true to her. Archie says "sure". In the second panel, we see the names of several other girls on the side of his car - Beatrice, Cora, Wilma, Sue and Mabel - as Archie says "Why do you ask?" |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Notes | No characters are featured in the title of these gags. |
| Characters | Jughead Jones; Ethel Muggs |
| Synopsis | Ethel calls Jughead to remind him that they're the committee to plan the annual school picnic. Jughead says he'll be right over. In the next panel, Jughead is seen standing on Ethel's doorstep, ringing her doorbell, holding a long skinny box with a bow on it. Ethel opens the door, and immediately assumes the box contains long-stem roses. Jughead grabs the box and tells her to give it back. In the last panel, Jughead says that the box contains his lunch, and is seen holding a large "submarine"-style sandwich. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Veronica Lodge; Reggie Mantel |
| Synopsis | Archie, Veronica and Reggie are at the beach. Archie has just finished burying himself in the sand, and Reggie asks him what he's doing. Archie says that it's very hot, and he's making sure he doesn't get burned. Reggie bets Archie a banana split that Archie will be good and burned before the day is over. Archie gladly accepts the bet. Reggie then kisses Veronica, and Archie yells at Reggie for kissing his girl. Reggie tells Archie to pay up because he's lost his bet. Archie asks Reggie what he means, and Reggie says "You're burned up aren't you?" |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gags |