| Issue | #346 |
| Published | February 1979 |
| Cover Price | 0.35 USD |
| Pages | 36 |
| Editing | ? |
| Notes | Characters appearing only in the logo are listed with "(logo)" next to their name. With the exception of Coach Kleats, the rest of the characters appear both in the logo and in the front cover gag. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Reggie Mantle; Coach Cleats; Betty Cooper; Jughead Jones; Veronica Lodge (logo); Dilton Doiley (logo); Moose Mason (logo) |
| Synopsis | During a football game, Archie begs the coach to put him back in the game, saying that a lame leg won't stop him. Reggie agrees, saying that Archie's already playing with a lame brain |
| Genre | Teen; Humor |
| Notes | Characters appearing only in the logo are listed with "(logo)" next to their name. With the exception of Coach Kleats, the rest of the characters appear both in the logo and in the front cover gag. |
| Characters | Josie McCoy; Melody Valentine; Valerie Brown; Alan M. Mayberry; |
| Synopsis | Melody tells Valerie that Alan M is leaving town. They pass the news on to Josie, who can't understand why he didn't tell them, and decides to stop his departure by throwing him a party, complete with Hostess Twinkies. Alan M is seen thinking that he will visit his cousin more often for the kind of attention he's getting at the party. |
| Notes | Ad appears on the inside front cover. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Fred Andrews; Mary Andrews; Betty Cooper; Jughead Jones; Reggie Mantle; Veronica Lodge; Moose Mason; various un-named friends of Archie; Hiram Lodge; Charlie, Andy and Sally (supposedly parents of Archie's friends); various un-named parents |
| Synopsis | It's Christmas time, and Archie's dad is worried about the expensive holiday bills. Archie decides that a Christmas party will cheer his dad up, but can't convince him to throw one because it will cost him even more money. Archie decides to throw one himself, and goes to see his friends. At first they're excited about the thought of a party, until Archie asks them to chip in 10 bucks a piece. Once Archie explains that it will be a catered party, his friends willingly chip in. He then tells them that they're not invited to the party, and are about ready to clobber him. The night of the party, Archie asks his dad to check out the party. Mrs. Andrews convinces her husband to put on a jacket and to come meet some of Archie's friends, saying that the jacket will make a good impression on the kids. When Archie's parents arrive downstairs at the party, they are surprised to find that all of their friends (parents of Archie's friends) are the ones at the party, and that Archie and his friends are nowhere in sight. The parents then explain the whole thing - Archie told his friends to invite their parents to the party. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Christmas |
| Notes | No indication is given as to who Charlie, Andy and Sally are. Sally bears a strong resemblance to Hermione Lodge, and Andy looks like Jughead's father. Hiram Lodge is seen in two panels. His name is not mentioned, but he is easily recognized. |
| Characters | Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge; Pop Tate |
| Synopsis | The girls are seen walking into the Chocklit Shop dressed in their cheerleading outfits. Pop Tate comments that the girls must have really raised their team's spirit in those outfits. Betty says that unfortunately the outfits raised the other team's spirit even more, as Veronica mentions that they lost 40 to nothing. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gag |
| Notes | Typical half-page gag story. This story occupies the top half of the page. The bottom half of the page is an Archie's Gag Bag strip. |
| Characters | Top gag: Miss Geraldine Grundy; Jughead Jones; Betty Cooper; Archie Andrews; Un-named art museum visitor; un-named police officers / Bottom gag: Mr. Weatherbee's Secretary (presumed to be Ms. Phlips, but no name is given); Mr. Svenson; Mr. Waldo Weatherbee |
| Synopsis | In the top half of the strip, Archie, Jughead and Betty are seen visiting an art museum with Miss Grundy. Miss Grundy and another museum visitor get into a brief disagreement over whether the Rembrandt painting they're looking at is painted on wood or canvas. Jughead settles the score by leaning over the rope and touching the painting. In the last panel, Jughead yells "canvas!" as he's being hauled off by four police officers, as an alarm rings (indicated by "Rrinnng!!" in the panel). In the bottom gag, Miss Phlips is asking Mr. Svenson why he brought the trash cans in. Mr. Svenson replies saying that it was going to snow that night and he would put them out in the morning. When Miss Phlips says that the principal was wondering, Mr. Svenson sees Mr. Weatherbee standing around a nearby corner and says that he'll give him something to wonder about. In the last panel, Mr. Svenson is seen lifting the lid on a garbage can and whispering "Tonight... after everyone is gone!" as Mr. Weatherbee looks around the corner. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor; Gag |
| Notes | Typical gag bag strip consisting of two four-panel gag strips. In the last panel of the second gag, Mr. Weatherbee's toupee is shown flying off his head. The woman in the bottom gag is not referenced, but is presumed to be Mr. Weatherbee's secretary - possibly Ms. Phlips. The Gag Bag occupies the bottom half of the page. The top half is the "Spirit Sprites" strip. |
| Characters | Dilton Doiley; Moose Mason; Reggie Mantle; Midge Klump; Archie Andrews |
| Synopsis | A female science freak is becoming a nuisance to Dilton, so he asks his pal Moose for advice. Moose, unable to answer the question, turns to Reggie for help. Moose simply asks Reggie how a guy gets rid of a girl he doesn't want, and of course Reggie instantly assumes that Moose is trying to get rid of Midge. Reggie convinces Moose that he'll take care of it, and gets ready for a hot date with Midge. Reggie arrives un-announced at Midge's, and is just about to steal a kiss from Midge when Moose walks in and informs Reggie that he was supposed to get rid of Dilton's girl. In the last panel, Moose is seen dragging a beaten-up Reggie down the sidewalk behind him, as he asks Archie how a guy gets rid of a girl he doesn't want. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor |
| Characters | Mort; Li'l Jinx; Charley Hawse; Gina |
| Synopsis | Mort is seen wishing on a star - wishing that his friends would notice him more and pay attention to him. Just as he's deciding it's a waste of his time and that nothing interesting happens to him, three flying saucers, named "Santa Maria", "Nina" and "Pinta", zip up out of nowhere, before taking off. The next day, Mort is running to tell his friends of his sighting, but everyone cuts him off right after he says he saw "Santa". Li'l Jinx points out that there's a Santa on every corner, before inviting him to a party at her house later that day and leaving. Mort then finds Charley, who is in the middle of trying to learn his lines for his part as one of the three "wise guys" in the school play. Initially Charley cuts Mort off, but Mort insists that Charley let him finish the story. After he finishes, Charley laughs at Mort and runs off. Depressed, and still upset that nobody's listening to him, Mort heads for Li'l Jinx's party, hoping that this will cheer him up. When he gets to the party, Li'l Jinx and Charley both encourage Mort to tell the story again - apparently Charley has told Li'l Jinx and Gigi what Mort told him earlier. Mort tells the story again, even though he's a bit surprised. In the last panel, Mort thanks the star for making his wish come true. |
| Genre | Children; Humor; Christmas |
| Script | Joe Edwards |
| Pencils | Joe Edwards |
| Inks | Joe Edwards |
| Letters | Joe Edwards |
| Notes | Gigi's last name isn't known. Charley's last name based information in the Wikipedia article about Li'l Jinx and the info on Joe Edwards at Wikipedia and the Who's Who Project. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews |
| Synopsis | The latest first- and second-place winning articles submitted by Archie Club members. This month features winners of a recent Space Vacation contest, in which readers submitted articles describing a vacation in outer space. |
| Notes | This was a regular feature for 40+ years. Archie club members sent in "news reports". The winning members received cash prizes (at the time, $6 for first place and $4 for second place), and the winning articles were printed in the Archie Club News section of an issue. New winners were chosen each month. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews |
| Synopsis | An ad encouraging readers (specifically, teenagers) to join the Archie Club for 50 cents by filling out the attached coupon and mailing it in with their payment. In return, they would get an "official press card" and a 4-color button, and could submit articles to be featured on the Archie Club News page. |
| Notes | This offer always occupied the bottom half of the Archie Club News page. The Archie Club lasted for 40+ years, although the prices increased over the years, as did the incentives (by the late 80s, members would also get a 4-color pen and an Archie notepad with their membership). Seems like the prizes got smaller too. The Archie Club was dis-continued several years ago, although the exact date is uncertain. |
| Characters | Jughead Jones |
| Synopsis | An ad encouraging readers to clip out the order form and send it in with $1 to get The Jughead Jones Comic Digest #8. |
| Notes | Postage and handling included with this offer. Offer expired on May 31st, 1979. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Jughead Jones |
| Synopsis | Readers could clip out the order form and check the boxes next to the comics they wished to order - they could choose any three comics for $1, and get single issues for 35 cents a piece. |
| Notes | Occupies the bottom half of the page with the Jughead Jones Digest offer. Issues available with this offer were T.V. Laugh-Out #65; Archie & Me #108; Betty & Me #100; Reggie & Me #112; Sabrina #51; Mad House #115; Reggie's Jokes #48; World of Jughead #481; Christmas Stocking #476; Betty and Veronica Christmas Spectacular #477; Archie's Christmas Love-In #478; Sabrina's Christmas Magic #479. The last five issues in this offer were part of the "Giant Series". This offer also expired on May 31st, 1979. |
| Characters | Archie Andrews; Jughead Jones; Veronica Lodge; Betty Cooper; un-named handsome date of Veronica's |
| Synopsis | Jughead visits Archie, and notices that Archie's calendar is four days behind. Upon removing the old pages from the calendar, Jughead notices that Archie has written "Concert" on the current date. Archie then remembers that he was supposed to take Veronica to a concert tonight - three hours ago. Archie then falls backwards on the floor, and he claims to have Amnesia. Jughead, knowing full well that Archie is faking it to get out of trouble, runs to tell Veronica that Archie has amnesia. Veronica is of course furious, and thinks that Archie is faking it. Upon finding Archie, she tests him, and he continues to act like he has amnesia. Veronica is not convinced, but can't prove anything, and promises Jughead a dinner to make sure Archie gets to her house for a dance the next night. On the way to the dance, Archie tells Jughead of his plan to start coming out of amnesia during the evening. Shortly after Archie's recovery, Veronica nods towards a handsome young man standing nearby, who winks at her. Veronica then proceeds to walk right into a wall - and, claiming to have amnesia herself, runs right into the arms of the handsome young man, claiming that he's her doctor. The young man of course goes along with the gag, and Archie is ticked that Veronica is pulling the same scheme he did. When Betty asks how he knows that she's faking, Archie says that it takes one to know one. |
| Genre | Teen; Humor |
| Pencils | Harry Lucey |
| Inks | Harry Lucey |
| Notes | Harry Lucey given credit for the artwork because it matches several other examples of his artwork (most notably at http://boards.collectors-society.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=1722919). |